November 2010


It never takes long for me to miss Ghana.

Today I miss Emma’s cooking. I’d love some friend chicken and fried yams.

Today I wish I was there to help with the sick momma and new baby I was called about. A young mother struggles with her health and the health of her newborn.

Today I miss Momma Comfort and Grandma Mary…

Mi so mo bo waaaaaa! (I love you in “Ga”)

I love a good quote. My other blogs are woven with quotes that have inspired, encouraged and corrected me. It’s been a long time since I have come across such a meaningful quote as this one.

“To seek approval is to have no resting place, no sanctuary. Like all judgment, approval encourages a constant striving. It makes us uncertain of who we are and of our true value. Approval cannot be trusted. It can be withdrawn at any time no matter what our track record has been. It is as nourishing of real growth as cotton candy. Yet many of us spend our lives pursuing it.”

 Rachel Naomi Remen

I am not quite sure how to share my point of view on this quote, but I like it. My point of view on myself is that I left this monkey behind a while back… and I am glad he’s gone.

Our last day in Ghana consisted of a going away party for BabyBoy. We went to visit the orphanage we found him in. We sang and danced and enjoyed a meal together. Some of the members from BabyBoy’s birth family joined us. We enjoyed the time with everyone.

Then there was the final good-bye. That moment when you are walking out the door. The final moments when you look back and your eyes can no longer see what is being left behind. But your heart knows. In those final moments we stood together saying good-bye. Wishing everyone well. Promising to care for this child for the rest of his life.

The birth family shared that they were grateful for our actions and that they knew this adoption was the best option for this baby. However, I myself cannot imagine the pain and sadness that also comes with knowing you may never see this child again, or if you do, he will no longer be this child you have placed in my arms. Rather a young boy or even a man who might return someday.

As we walked to the gate where our car was waiting, I looked back again. One final look, the image that will be with me forever. It brought me to tears. We all love him so much. Because tears are not acceptable in Ghana, I noted that one family member in particular had stopped looking me in the eyes. Not because I was breaking a social norm, but because I am sure he too would have cried.

We returned to the place we were staying on this trip and were welcomed and embraced. I continued to cry and feel overwhelmed by the emotion of the loss of this birth family. Everyone was encouraging and reminding me of the opportunities that this boy will have because of our actions. I know. I know he will have a different life, and likely someone will classify it as “better” than he would have had. But that does not, for a second, relieve the pain of the losses for those who loved this boy.

I believe this baby was brought to us through a miracle. And I believe that he does belong here with our family and his biological sisters. I believe we have done what we were led to do. And I believe this child will live an amazing life and that there is a very special plan for him. All of us who know him will be blessed by his life.

Your Ghana family wishes you well BabyBoy.

Godspeed in your journey.

While we were in Ghana we visited this community school in Chorkor. We were told the school was established due to so many children living near the ocean. This school provides a place for the children to gather and stay away from the dangerous waters.

Our new BabyBoy has been home one week and one day. He’s a TROOPER to say the least. Things have been going very well. Last night he did decide on a cry-fest rather than sleep, and we don’t know why. But this morning he is getting a little extra rest and I hope that means he will have a good day. Minnesota welcomed him home with a huge snow fall and some frigid temps. He hasn’t seemed too shocked by any of it.

The rest of the band is pretty excited about the new baby brother. They all want to hold him and feed him and play with him. And they all want to sleep with him… I’d love to let them sleep with him except he isn’t really sleeping through the night. I suppose I’ll keep him next to me until we know everyone can get a good night’s sleep. The girls will run off with him and play for the longest time, only to return him when a diaper change is required.

He is home. He is. And we are so happy to have him here. It’s seems like he has always been here. It seems like he has always belonged here.

Welcome home BabyBoy.

It was three years ago.

In the two years prior to this time there were discussions and questions about adding another member to the family. But it all seemed to be conversation based in good fun. But on this day the question was raised with a new tone. And some how, on this day it required action. That was the start to our adoption journey.

I wrote about a feeling:

 The itch, the feeling that something wasn’t quite the way it was supposed to be, was there. It’s not like when you lose something important or when you are sad or grieving, but more like when you organize your desk and something is just not in place. You notice it, sometimes you are reminded of it, but it doesn’t make you sad and you don’t really think about it all that often… but you know something is just not right.

So our journey began.